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MM – Hey, whats up?
Man – Turning 50
MM – Time to celebrate?
M – Should I?
MM – Why not?
M – Shouldn’t I introspect?
MM – Do both
M – Yea, makes sense.
MM – Something’s bothering you?
M – Not really
MM – Sure?
M – Well…life…
MM – You had a decent one, didn’t you?
M – Well, an ordinary life
MM – What’s ordinary?
M – Regular childhood. Typical middle-class upbringing. Conventional school & college life. Post graduation. Worked here & there. Normal family life. No big trauma or setbacks. Some ups & down, managed well. Uneventful life. And here I am…at 50.
MM – Everyone has 3 lives – public, personal & private. I know you better.
M – You want to dig deeper. So be it. Indulged in some vices. Lived & worked quite widely. Won some accolades, fielded some brickbats. Not a hard worker, but dependable & productive. Fairly travelled. A few memorable adventures. Good health, though a few scares now & then. Modest wealth, nothing to boast. Moderate living, no splurging, simple and scaling down further. No big burdens, debt or any other. No significant regrets. Escaped corporate slavery fairly early. Quit addiction to monthly salary with fair success. Dabbled in entrepreneurship and failed. Adequate intellect. Amused myself with books, writing & music. Tinkered with civic life. What else?
MM – Isn’t that a good life?
M – Possibly
MM – Many at 50 can’t say that
M – Quite possible.
MM – What’s next?
M – I don’t know
MM – More wealth?
M – No
MM – Fame?
M – No, no
MM – Power?
M – Never
MM – You are bent on obscurity
M – Yes.
MM – No great ambitions to change the world or ignite revolutions?
M – No, I don’t think they can be willed or designed.
MM – Well, you can try
M – I do…in small and satisfying ways.
MM – Are you content?
M – Perhaps
MM – But you are still restless?
M – Well, the question ‘whats next?’ does hover.
MM – Ok, any regrets, goals, aspirations?
M – Nothing big or significant.
MM – I know you got a few things tucked away in your bucket list.
M – Yes, doable stuff.
MM – Just do more of the same.
M – Whatever I have enjoyed doing before?
MM – Yes, why not?
M – That sounds boring.
MM – Aren’t there limits to novelties & new experiences?
M – Perhaps
MM – You neither crave grand new experiences nor seek to push limits. You seem to be content in your own bubble.
M – That’s worrying…
MM – But certain things fascinate you
M – Yes, the grand mysteries of the universe and nature, the unknown depths of the human mind, stupidities around me, the mysterious future, time, space, after-life, before-life, philosophy, God, uncertainty, luck, religion, science, history, cultures, travel, future of mankind, my own future…
MM – That can keep you occupied for many lifetimes. You don’t have to worry about boredom at all.
M – I guess so
MM – What scares you?
M – Extreme boredom. Extended inactivity. Pain, suffering, disease. Senility. Conventional old age with mundane inconsequential routines. Becoming inarticulate. Losing sense of humour. Becoming outmoded & archaic. Losing vigour, intellect, wisdom…
MM – Death?
M – Well…
MM – Almost everything you mentioned is within your control to handle, atleast now and for the foreseeable near future. And no point worrying about things not within your control. Wasn’t Epictetus right?
M – Yea, but…
MM – Still you are bored and scared?
M – Not scared, neither too bored. But a little restless perhaps.
MM – Introspection can make one restless.
M – Maybe…
MM – And you still got desires
M – Some…yes
MM – If you got none, you are as good as gone.
M – Hmm…
MM – Recognise moderate desires. Pursue moderate opportunities. Relish moderate successes.
M – Rinse & repeat?
MM – Yes
M – Uncertainties, misfortunes & bad luck?
MM – Can you control them?
M – I can’t
MM – Can you out-manoeuvre them?
M – Maybe not
MM – But you can think about them and be prepared.
M – And perhaps even cultivate luck and farm randomness?
MM – You know thats a possibility
M – Sounds like a good plan.
MM – Yes, unless you have better ideas.
M – I don’t have any
MM – You may get some in the future.
M – That may or may not happen.
MM – So, why worry about it then?
M – Just do what’s on hand?
MM – Isn’t that wise?
M – And be restful, serene, tranquil?
MM – Isn’t that smart?
M – You sound wiser, off late.
MM – I am just the man in the mirror.
M – I like what I see
MM – Same here.